I first knew about the Gwangju May 18 People's Uprising when I was in Gwangju, Korea for the first time in 2007, when I was a 3-month artist in residence at Ujiae Art Studio The name May 18 is very similar to May 13 although the circumstances and outcome are very different. During these 3 months I learned about 518, walk many times around the provincial hall (The provincial hall was the headquarters for the Gwangju Uprising in 1980 and it was also where we exhibited the results of our artist residency)  and surrounding area and sat on many buses that circled around the roundabout in front of the provincial hall. When we were installing our works in the provincial hall, we also went up the rooftop and looked down on the streets below.

 

When I went back to Gwangju for a visit in 2016, I was shock that only the façade of the provincial hall was left standing. In its place was the huge ACC complex (Asia Cultural Center). The surrounding areas changed a lot. There were many cafes and posh retail outlets. I felt disorientated as my body still remembers what it was like walking there in 2007 but the area changed so much that makes the body confused, as if a large part of my memory of Gwangju was lost.

 

I described my disoriented feeling to my Korean friend, and she encouraged me to explore this and offered me a solo exhibition at her gallery. This prompted me to make these artworks, Initially, I wasn’t aware that these artworks were connected to 513, rather, I thought it was purely to express the sense of hope I felt that 518 had achieved for freedom in Korea and how easily freedom could be forgotten. Only when my friend came to see my works in Malaysia a few months later and we discussed about them did I realized that there is another hidden layer in the works, and that is my desire to face up to 513.

I think why it is hidden in the first place is because 513 is still a taboo in Malaysia. It is the fear of exposure. However, now that I’m conscious of this, I have to face it honestly and I have to face in carefully. I cannot deny there is still fear that what I am expressing about 513.  These works were made in 2018 but before the May 9 general election. During the campaign period, the subject of May 13 came up time and again as a kind of warning that things might go wrong if we make the wrong choices.

 

I cannot recall anything of 513 because I wasn’t born yet. It is a ‘memory’ inherited through my elders and through the government; through their repeated warnings and innuendoes. I wasn’t burdened as a witness of the event nor was I a witness of the atmosphere prevailing at the time. But somehow, like many of my generation, I feel very strongly about 513. I suppose the trauma was passed down to us because it couldn’t be discussed and therefore there was no resolution. It is as if the previous generation dropped a bomb that may never explode on us and we have to deal with it as well.

I think the best way to resolve this trauma is to first try to bring it out to the surface, so that everyone can see it clearly. After everyone has a clear view, then they can see their own fears and prejudices and they can see how certain people used this trauma as a weapon. Artists have the ability to express their views and feelings very clearly but at the same time remain vague. To open up something that cannot be said, perhaps this vagueness is necessary until enough people’s views and emotions are affected and demand for it to be fully opened.

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